I wonder how long can the dollar in my pocket last. It weight like a leaf, but you can get more than a leaf. When I first got it, I would invite you for a movie screening with reserved seat and a big bag of pop corn. I would toss the coin in the air to make a decision either going to a fun fair will bring us more joy than the silly movie that we would talk it through the night. Maybe because I'm too self centered that you left me because I would get you to do activities that I like, instead of yours.
Time passes by and I found the dollar in the drawer, beneath it was a letter in a pink envelope; the letter that you gave me before we even have a chance to go to that silly movie that you would like. Maybe its the colour of the envelope that catches my eyes, or maybe it is the dollar that rest peacefully up there. I prefer the dollar, for it will buy me a sandwich than the letter that would make me lie down on the bed thinking of all the mistake that shows my unworthiness.
I picked up the envelope to see if there are other shillings hide under the letter, a small piece of paper felt out from it. On the folded paper, a carbon imprint of the dollar catches my eyes. I remember I used to tell you about how I got this little dollar, not begged or steal, but of blood and sweat as a delivery boy. I remember you used to joke on you would throw this dollar away for the same reason if I throw anything that you gave me.
You gave me back the dollar before I left, I left silently because I does not know what to say, for you show me light but I was too far below to receive it, you gave me hope but I was too stupid to notice it; to you maybe its a sign that we are not meant to be, or I am not as the person you want to be. I read the letter, was it the ninth or tenth time I was reading it? Ups and downs came to me, I tried to tell myself that there will be an rainbow colour unicorn outside my window and show me a belly dance; but it does not work that way.
I wish that I might get back to you, on that rainbow colour unicorn and let you ride it with me; but you never see it as possible. Like a star in the night, you are so far to be reached; Jack's beanstalk might have work if the world never stay at it is, you start getting further and I start getting smaller, should I plant more of the magical beanstalk so that I may reach you when ever I want? Or maybe I was really not meant to be what I wanted it to be, maybe the leaf on the beanstalk has decided that to chase the moon, it need to leave the tree and jump to the river that its headed to the moon.
I need a decision, should I find more magical beans or should I set sail on a leaf; I toss the coin and closes my eyes. I am afraid. I open my eyes the coin landed in to the the envelope. Maybe it is fate that tells me that one day the beanstalk will reach the moon, or you may come and visit me on the colourful unicorn. I put the envelope back and close the drawer.
